My PCOS Story - from a Registered Dietitian
A voicemail message changed the trajectory of my life (and career) forever: “It appears you have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.”
No one in my family has had PCOS. I didn’t have acne or hair loss. I wasn’t considerably hairy, compared to my female family members. I had originally discounted myself from having the condition because I didn’t realize I met the criteria. After I had complained of a 40 pound weight gain and absent period over the previous year, my OB/GYN ran a series of tests and ultrasounds. I didn’t know that I was being screened for PCOS, but a few words on my voicemail sealed my fate.
The moment I heard those words, the gut feelings of panic and distress started to bubble up. I remember feeling ashamed and betrayed by my body. I was in a complete frenzy: googling, researching, and looking up anything I could about the condition. My doctor didn’t give me a single resource, or next steps now that I had a diagnosis. More or less, I was told that I could go on hormonal birth control and worry about it when I wanted to get pregnant. It’s not that she was a bad doctor. In fact, I still see her to this day, but that simple solution, that is so widely offered, just didn’t sit right with me. I didn’t want to make any sort of sweeping decision before I had the chance to try and sort the condition out on my own. After all, lifestyle change is one of the most effective ways of managing PCOS, while reducing risk of other associated conditions from cropping up.
At this point in my life, I was getting my Master’s degree in Clinical Nutrition. I was so close to my career aspiration of becoming a Registered Dietitian. Up unto this point, I wanted to be an RD for eating disorders, or maybe for maternal and early childhood health. I knew I loved working on an interdisciplinary team of other healthcare providers, unpacking diet culture, dismantling disordered eating, and helping others find a path towards mindful nutrition. I also was in complete wonder of the incredible growth that takes place in the female body, and soon thereafter.
Though, after personally researching PCOS, and then completing my MS thesis on it, my path was forever changed. Interestingly, the condition also comes at a crossroads of those previous interests of mine: it comes with an elevated risk of disordered eating, many of its symptoms are vastly improved by mindful practices, and so many people are struggling with fertility and navigating pregnancy with PCOS.
Through this newly found passion in women’s health, I finally learned to stop using weight as an end to the means of better health. I was once torn down by the distinct words from a phone call with a loved one: “no one is going to trust a fat dietitian” in those months that I was gaining uncontrollably. It wasn’t out of malice, but out of concern for the career I was working so hard towards. After my diagnosis and a deep look at the health trends across all of the body sizes in my own family, research, and beyond; I accepted that weight does not equate to health. I had to relearn how to more appropriately evaluate wellness on an individual basis.
I also started loving and admiring the daily wonders of my body more than ever before. Each day that I cared for my body and woke up feeling deserving of a full and healthy life, the better my condition got. Most importantly, I feel incredibly fulfilled to be part of a company, Allara, that focuses all of its resources and energy into the one condition I am most passionate about: PCOS. As a healthcare consumer, I find the best care comes from a system that takes time to listen and work from a place of compassion, to find solutions designed for you. As a healthcare provider, I aim to not only hear, but believe your story, and take part in the journey you want for yourself. The best healthcare isn’t just collaborative on the inter-professional team level, but is remarkably collaborative on the team-patient level.
Somehow, getting diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome was one of the greatest blessings I’ve ever received.